How to be internet famous

Barque's very own youtube sensation shares how to be famous.


Today, our world is experiencing a new phenomenon in which anyone can easily gain fame, thanks to the invention and expansion of the great World Wide Web. This community largely includes social media websites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr and Vine and is only growing with people and content.

There is no argument regarding the fact that social media serves as a huge platform that attracts and gathers many people together in one place. A tweet about what Donald Trump said the night before gets retweeted hundreds of times, a picture of an acai bowl on a public Instagram account floats around on the explore page and a ten second video on Snapchat with a squeaky, high-pitched voice screaming “damn Daniel” gets thousands of likes in seconds, eventually reaching views and shares in the millions that never cease to grow.

Do you, as a non-celebrity, ever wonder how the Kardashians swim in a pool of cash with absolutely no talents? Do you ever wonder how Paris Hilton can get over 300,000 likes on a video of her ironing bacon strips? The answer is actually pretty simple, so allow me to share some very helpful tips on how to be internet famous.

First and foremost, you need to be attractive, and this applies to both genders. As harsh and critical as it sounds, this is the truth and the reality. Take a serious look at where your thumb clicks in your subconscious mind when you’re mindlessly scrolling through the Instagram explore page.

It really helps to join a sorority or a fraternity because it never hurts to have good looking friends to embellish your even beautiful appearance. Never post pictures with someone who is universally more attractive than you though, because that friend will always gain more followers than you.

Once you qualify this most important aspect of becoming internet famous without moving a hair, some side tips include taking your shirt off, promoting Fit Tea, going vegan and having a hot boy or girlfriend. Finally, really think before posting: “Does this one picture really capture a lifestyle (which may or may not be an accurate illustration of the truth) that others don’t have and will dream of?

By this point, I might have crushed your dreams of being an internet sensation. But don’t feel hopeless or let yourself down thinking that you are not attractive enough. There is another very easy route you can take even if you don’t have blonde, luscious hair or sparkling blue eyes.

“Have a famous sibling,” senior Anna Wilson said.

If putting a lot of effort and time is not your thing yet you still want to be internet famous, follow my guidance. Once you do become a star, don’t forget to give me a shout out –my last tip, try your best, if not pretend, to stay close to the stars. It never hurts to kiss up a little, taste the power, fame and luxury.